I am unsure what all-time low is within the NFL, however I feel we noticed at the very least six groups hit it in Week 6. The Dolphins misplaced to a staff that hadn’t gained in 399 days, the Browns went full Browns, the Broncos misplaced to a staff that was being coached by a particular groups coordinator and the Lions appear to be presumably the worst staff in NFL historical past.
Additionally, the Giants set soccer again 70 years and Washington obtained destroyed on the day it determined to honor Sean Taylor. Notice to Washington: If you are going to retire somebody’s uniform, it’s best to notify your followers greater than three days upfront and in addition perhaps maintain the ceremony throughout a recreation that you simply even have an opportunity of successful.
I used to be going to record every thing Washington obtained unsuitable about with this Taylor ceremony , however this man did a significantly better job, so I am going to simply let him do it.
Alright, I’ve spent means an excessive amount of time speaking about dangerous groups, so let’s get to the Week 7 picks earlier than somebody will get bodily in poor health like I did on Sunday whereas watching the Texans offense.
Really, earlier than we get to the Week 7 picks, here is a fast reminder that you would be able to try the weekly picks from each CBSSports.com NFL professional by clicking right here. On a very unrelated observe, for those who’re like me and you want signing up for random issues on the web, then I’d extremely counsel that you simply join CBSSports.com’s NFL e-newsletter, which I am really in control of.
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Alright, let’s get to the picks.
NFL Week 7 Picks
Denver (3-3) at Cleveland (3-3)
Thursday, 8:20 p.m. ET (Fox/NFL Community/Amazon)
I as soon as learn “The Canterbury Tales” in highschool, which I am solely mentioning proper now as a result of up till three days in the past, it was the longest factor I had ever learn in my life. Nevertheless, that honor now belongs to the Browns damage report.
I needed to watch an episode of “Gray’s Anatomy” earlier than studying that record simply so I might establish all of the physique components listed. The Browns had been coping with a bunch of accidents throughout Sunday’s loss to the Cardinals and so they would possibly really be even worse this week. Browns coach Kevin Stefanski has already introduced that Kareem Hunt will not be enjoying and on high of that, there’s an opportunity that Nick Chubb (calf) will even miss the sport.
If each guys are out, which means the Browns offense is principally all the way down to a one-armed quarterback (Baker Mayfield) and a working again who you have by no means heard of, which is not an ideal mixture. Additionally, primarily based on that damage report, I am not even 100% certain the Browns are going to have sufficient gamers to discipline a staff. THERE ARE 20 PLAYERS LISTED. On the fee the Browns are going, they will have to carry open tryouts at a neighborhood highschool simply to have sufficient gamers for Thursday’s recreation.
If each groups had been fully wholesome, I might choose the Browns. Nevertheless, each groups should not fully wholesome.
The choose: Broncos 20-17 over Browns
Cincinnati (4-2) at Baltimore (5-1)
1 p.m. ET (CBS)
I can not bear in mind the final time the Bengals performed in a considerably essential recreation this late within the season. Positive, it is not really that late within the season, however do not inform that to Bengals followers. For the previous 5 years, the Bengals have principally been eradicated from the playoffs by the point Week 7 rolled round, BUT NOT THIS YEAR. This yr, the Bengals might finish Week 7 in a TIE FOR FIRST PLACE within the AFC North if they will beat the Ravens.
The truth that the Bengals are good this season is one thing that nobody noticed coming. Simply kidding, I noticed it coming, and primarily based on a fast search of the web, it seems there are about 4 different folks on Earth who additionally thought the Bengals would begin the yr 4-2.
The largest shock of the season for the Bengals to date has been their protection. In case you watched the protection play final yr, they had been completely atrocious. Think about watching Derrick Henry play soccer in opposition to a bunch of elementary faculty youngsters and you will have an concept of simply how dangerous the Bengals protection was final yr. They’re positively higher this yr, however I will not know the way significantly better till I see them play in opposition to the Ravens and that is as a result of the Ravens have the one offense within the NFL that the Bengals cannot determine. Within the final three conferences between these two groups, the Ravens have gone 3-0 whereas averaging 38 factors per recreation.
For the primary time in eternally, the Bengals really match up fairly nicely with Baltimore. The Ravens have given up the third-most go yards within the AFC this yr and the Bengals have a quarterback who can reap the benefits of that. On the opposite facet of the ball, the Ravens are averaging 155.2 yards per recreation on the bottom, which is the fourth most within the NFL, however the Bengals ought to be capable of gradual them down. Cincinnati is one among simply eight groups within the league this yr surrendering fewer than 100 dashing yards per recreation.
I feel what I am attempting to say right here is that I’ve talked myself into selecting the Bengals.
The choose: Bengals 27-24 over Ravens
Detroit (0-6) at L.A. Rams (5-1)
4:05 p.m. ET (Fox)
Essentially the most high-profile divorce in Los Angeles this yr did not contain a celeb or anybody on the “Actual Housewives of Orange County,” it concerned Jared Goff and the Rams. Sadly for Goff, the divorce is not understanding so nicely on his finish to date. Goff’s scenario is principally the equal of me getting dumped by my spouse, who then strikes out to Los Angeles to marry a film star whereas I find yourself dwelling with 12 cats in a small condominium in Detroit. I am guessing you’ll be able to determine who Goff is in that state of affairs.
This recreation could not have come at a worse time for Goff. Not solely is his staff 0-6, however I am fairly certain his new head coach already desires to commerce him away identical to his previous coach did.
In case you skip to the 17-second mark in that clip, you see Dan Campbell take an extended pause after being requested about Goff. This wasn’t simply any pause, both, this was the kind of pause it’s a must to calm your self down so you do not say something you may remorse for the remainder of time.
The factor that is even worse for Goff is that he has to face Aaron Donald for the primary time. Goff has much less mobility than a hamster caught in tremendous glue. The Rams line of defense goes to eat him alive and though I need to say I do not imply that actually, I can not be certain.
Goff has by no means gained a recreation with out Sean McVay as his coach — he is 0-13 — and I do not see that altering this week. As for Matthew Stafford, I’d say that is his Tremendous Bowl, however then I might have to choose him to lose, as a result of he is by no means gained a playoff recreation. Stafford goes to get the final chuckle on his previous staff, though the Lions are so dangerous this yr that any chuckle at their expense feels imply, so perhaps he will not chuckle. Both means, I am selecting the Rams to roll to an enormous win.
The choose: Rams 41-17 over Lions
Indianapolis (2-4) at San Francisco (2-3)
8:20 p.m. ET (NBC)
The NFL might have flexed this recreation out of Sunday night time, however they determined to not, which is why I ought to be in control of the NFL. If it had been as much as me, I’d let followers vote to flex one recreation per yr and primarily based on the response on Twitter, that is the sport that everybody would flex.
I like this man’s enthusiasm, however I hate the thought. I imply, have you ever ever seen the Bengals play in prime time? We positively need not transfer them to Sunday night time. To be sincere, I really like that this did not get flexed and that is as a result of it is one of the intriguing video games on the schedule.
We have now two groups that each had excessive expectations going into the yr, however now, each of them have shedding information and I’ll go forward and say that the loser of this recreation is not going to make the playoffs.
The issue with selecting this recreation is that I do not know who the 49ers quarterback goes to be. I feel it should be Jimmy Garoppolo. If Garoppolo was pretty much as good at soccer as he’s good-looking, the 49ers could be undefeated this yr, however sadly, that is simply not the case. Nevertheless, I do assume that Garoppolo is a greater quarterback than Carson Wentz, though which may not matter, as a result of the Colts offense does not revolve round Wentz.
Over the previous few weeks, Jonathan Taylor — to not be confused with my private hero from 1994, Jonathan Taylor Thomas — has been the key to the Colts success. Over the previous three weeks, Taylor has been averaging 147 whole yards per recreation and the Colts have gone 2-1 in these video games (They’d have gone 3-0 in these video games if that they had introduced a wholesome kicker to Baltimore). If Taylor goes off once more, this seems like a Colts upset ready to occur, but when the 49ers bottle him up, we would see a Sunday night time blowout.
The prediction right here: Taylor goes off and the Colts squeak by in an upset that may have 49ers followers calling for Garoppolo to be traded.
The choose: Colts 26-23 over 49ers
New Orleans (3-2) at Seattle (2-4)
Monday, 8:15 p.m. ET (ESPN)
It took six weeks, however I lastly picked a Washington recreation accurately, which suggests we’re lastly all the way down to only one staff this yr that I have not been ready to determine: The New Orleans Saints.
We’re seven weeks into the season and I nonetheless have but to choose a Saints recreation accurately. I am 0-5 selecting their video games this yr and each week I get barely extra irritated by the truth that I can not choose any of their video games accurately. I blame the complete factor on Jameis Winston. Each time I feel he’ll throw seven interceptions in a recreation, he throws seven touchdowns. After I assume he’ll throw 5 touchdowns, he throws seven interceptions. The one rationalization that is smart at this level is that he is clearly mocking me.
The unsuitable picks are getting out of hand and I am most likely going to be ranting about it loads till I really get one proper so that you guys ought to really be hoping that I ultimately get one proper.
- In Week 1, I picked the Packers to beat the Saints, which made sense in my head as a result of when a staff quarterbacked by Aaron Rodgers is dealing with a staff quarterbacked by Jameis Winston, I’m taking Rodgers’ staff 100% of the time. The Packers misplaced 38-3.
- In Week 2, I believed, “Wow, the Saints regarded actually good in opposition to the Packers, so I’ll choose them to beat the Panthers this week.” The Saints didn’t win that week. As a matter of truth, they obtained beat so dangerous (26-7) that I forgot they beat the Packers in Week 1.
- In Week 3, the Saints had been enjoying the Patriots and I did not assume there was anyway they had been going to have the ability to go into Foxborough and steal a recreation on the street, particularly after shedding by 19 factors to THE PANTHERS. As soon as once more, the Saints had the final chuckle after beating the Patriots 28-13.
- In Week 4, I believed I had a lay-up: I picked the Saints to beat the Giants, who’re horrible. The Saints had been WINNING this recreation 21-10 with seven minutes left, however one way or the other managed to lose. I am assuming it is as a result of I picked them to win. After this loss, I banned myself from ever visiting New Orleans. I do not should be there.
- In Week 5, I outsmarted myself. The Saints had been enjoying Washington and though my intestine stated, “Go along with New Orleans,” I by no means take heed to my intestine as a result of if God needed us to take heed to our intestine, he would have put our mind there. Perhaps our mind ought to be there, as a result of as soon as once more, I whiffed on the choose.
- In Week 6, I picked the bye to beat the Saints and as all of us noticed, New Orleans gained once more.
What I am attempting to say is that no matter I choose right here, it’s best to assume the other goes to occur. If I choose a low-scoring recreation, assume it should be a shootout. If I say there is not any means Geno Smith can lead the Seahawks to a win, assume Seattle goes to win by 40.
The opposite wrench being thrown into this choose is that it is a Seahawks prime-time recreation. Have you ever ever watched a Seahawks prime-time recreation? THEY’RE ALL CRAZY. I’ve by no means watched a Seahawks prime-time recreation that wasn’t loopy and the craziest factor that might presumably occur this week is for me to get a Saints choose proper, at the very least that is what I am telling myself.
The choose: Saints 19-16 over Seahawks
NFL Week 7 picks: All the remaining
Packers 31-20 over Washington
Chiefs 33-30 over Titans
Falcons 24-17 over Dolphins
Patriots 23-16 over Jets
Panthers 22-19 over Giants
Raiders 30-23 over Eagles
Cardinals 31-16 over Texans
Buccaneers 23-20 over Bears
Greatest choose: Final week, I predicted that that Jaguars would finish their 20-game shedding streak by beating the Dolphins 23-20 in London and guess what occurred? THE JAGUARS ENDED THEIR 20-GAME LOSING STREAK BY BEATING THE DOLPHINS 23-20 IN LONDON. My prediction for the sport was so on level that I briefly contemplated retiring from making NFL predictions ever once more.
I predicted the Jaguars to attain 23 factors as a result of I feel that is how previous the woman was that City Meyer was noticed with. Simply kidding, I picked that quantity as a result of the Dolphins are dangerous and I knew 23 factors would beat them. Anyway, I will not be retiring and that is largely as a result of I’ve determined that I can not retire till I lastly choose a Saints recreation accurately, which hopefully occurs in some unspecified time in the future earlier than January.
Worst choose: At 4 p.m. ET on Sunday, I used to be attempting to bask within the awesomeness of my good Jaguars prediction, however let me let you know, there is no such thing as a such factor as basking on Twitter as a result of there’s at all times somebody round to throw chilly water in your face and that is what this man did.
I’d say that selecting the Chargers to beat the Ravens was the worst resolution that anybody on this planet has made this month besides I do know it is not as a result of somebody OK’d this remake of “House Alone.”
If I need to watch a foul Christmas film, I am going to watch the Hallmark Channel or I am going to watch “Christmas with the Kranks.”
Lastly, for those who guys have ever questioned which groups I am really good at selecting, here is a fast look:
Groups I am 6-0 selecting this yr: Texans, Jaguars, Buccaneers, Colts, 49ers (5-0)
Groups I am 0-5 selecting this yr: Saints.
Straight up in Week 6: 10-4
SU total: 63-31 (63-26 selecting video games that did not contain the Saints)
Towards the unfold in Week 6: 7-7
ATS total: 46-45-3
IMPORTANT NOTE: Ryan Wilson is an absurd 61-30-3 in opposition to the unfold this yr and if you wish to know which groups he is selecting to win in Week 7, then make sure you click on right here. I do know what you are considering and sure, I’ve considered copying his picks, however perhaps he ought to be copying me as a result of my straight-up picks are higher. Suck it, Wilson.
Actual rating predictions: 2
Actual rating, unsuitable winner: 2